The Morning After

Posted on Fri Aug 21st, 2026 @ 8:06pm by Lieutenant Zachary Addams & Lieutenant JG Grace MacKenzie 'Sabre'
Edited on on Mon Aug 24th, 2026 @ 2:28am

3,017 words; about a 15 minute read

Mission: Kintsugi
Location: Zach's Quarters
Timeline: Morning after 'Nightmare on Grace Street'

Wakefulness came slowly as Grace MacKenzie began to return to the land of the awake. She'd been sleeping deeply and had been all snuggled up and warm within the covers, tightly wrapped up in them so that it almost felt like she was wrapped in a lover's arms. In fact, it even felt like someone had their arm tucked up underneath her chest and there was something in the covers poking her from behind. She shifted slightly and the warmth on her skin moved with it.

Adrenaline shot through her system like it was lightning as the realization hit her: Someone had their arm around her, HOLDING her breast, the heat of the skin on skin contact burning as if it were on fire, the pressure against her back hot and burning, the poking against her rear end almost piercing. Everything flashed through her head in an instant and panic set in. She'd barely opened her eyes, still unfocused, as her arm shot back and up, elbow aimed at the head to throw off whoever it was that had her trapped.

A startled yelp from whoever it was and the arm and hand that had been wrapped around her, one breast suddenly cooler than it had been before, was withdrawn rapidly and Grace made her next move to escape. She lunged for the edge of the bed, flinging the covers off of her, which cost her a fraction of a second. Diving for the freedom that was clearly that direction, her foot caught on something, her captor had to be reaching out to stop her by grabbing her foot, and she tumbled off the edge of the bed with a squawk as she fell in a jumble on the carpet.

---

Zed had been sleeping soundly, dreaming of a warm body next to him. She'd finally agreed to spend the night, and he could feel her in his arms as he slept, feel the softness of her body, and the warmth of her skin. The dream was warm, intense, and erotic, and he was thoroughly enjoying the crescendo it was approaching, right until he felt the elbow to his temple.

He cried out in pain, instantly awake, pulling himself away from whoever had attacked him. Realization came rushing back to him and he blindly reached out to grab her arm, although what he felt in his hand felt less like an elbow and more like an ankle. As his vision cleared, he saw that he had indeed grabbed her ankle, and she was now lying half naked on the floor, both of them dazed and confused.

"Gracie," he said, moaning in pain, "what the hell happened?"

Grace had finally slowed enough to roll over on her side as she came to a realization of where she actually was. Still, she crawled away from him until she came to a wall, tugging down on her shirt to cover any remaining exposed skin before she brought her knees up to her chest with her back to the wall. She looked up at him from that position, "Ah... Ah..." She swallowed hard, "Ah woke up and didn't... Didn't realize where Ah was." Her eyes were wide open and staring at nothing, "And there was... There was... A hand, and somethin' else, your, your, your..." She shuddered.

Zed looked at her, confused, then looked down where she was glancing and quickly pulled the covers over himself. A quick adjustment later and he was able to pull back the covers again and swing his legs over the side of the bed. He rubbed his chin wearily and looked at her. "I'm sorry. I had no idea it was happening; I was asleep. I promise you're still safe here. If I had been awake, I wouldn't have tried anything." It sounded hollow to his ears, but it was sincere. "You are still safe, and clearly, you are wanted." He tried giving her a wry smile, but it faltered. "I hope I can earn your trust again."

"Ah know." Grace got out, not moving towards him, but not moving away. "Ah... Ah overreacted." She admitted, but it was something that she knew she'd have done no matter who it was. She remembered the night before, she'd welcomed him to snuggle up to her, but what did she expect? He was male and there were some things that couldn't be controlled, especially when they were asleep. "Ah'll be fine, Ah went too far, Ah shouldn't have... We're fine, Zed, we're fine." She lied.

"Are we?" he said, looking at her. "If I came over to hug you right now, would you let me?" He watched her face. "I'm always honest with you, Gracie. Be honest with me. It's okay to be not good. It's okay to say so, I won't take it personally." He slipped down to the floor with her, but didn't move closer. "I promised I wouldn't abandon you, and I won't. Just talk to me."

As he came to the floor, Grace flinched back, it being a sheer force of will to not actively move further away from him, a jerk of the head clear that she had to make herself not seek out where the door was. "You're right... Ah'm not good, me, not you." She took a deep breath, "Ah was back there again, back on Foch, but it was as if Ah had some control and Ah did what Ah couldn't do back then."

Zed nodded. "I'm glad you felt you had that control with me," he said, quietly. "I don't want to make you feel helpless." He took a few deep breaths, trying to keep control and not let his emotions surge at the thought of what must have gone through her head. "I hope..." he paused and looked at her. "If we're staying honest, I hope I can hold you like that again someday. Just so long as you know you will always have control of the situation."

'I hope so too.' Her lips moved, but no sound came out as she mouthed the words and her gaze went to the floor between them as silence reigned, "Ah didn't mean to hurt you, if Ah did. There's just... Some things Ah can't control, not yet, maybe not ever. Ah really wouldn't blame you if..." She trailed off and then steeled herself as she looked up at him, "If you didn't wanna take the chance."

He let out a long breath. "A long time ago," he said, quietly, "someone took a chance on me, and I wasn't nearly as worthy of that chance as you are." He looked at her for a moment. "But the harder question is, can you take a chance on me?"

A full range of emotions flickered across Grace's face in the span of an instant or two and she exhaled deeply before her eyes went back to the ground between them, "Ah suppose you could call me Adelaide." She said softly.

Zed frowned and tilted his head. "What's that name about?" he said.

Very quietly, she began to sing, "Since Adelaide, Adelaide, Ever-lovin' Adelaide is takin' a chance," She quirked a smile, "Talk about your long shots, Takin' a chance on me.." Her voice trailed off after that, "As Ah said, Ah was in the musical theater back in school. Ah'll have to watch 'Guys and Dolls' with ya' sometime."

He nodded. "I suppose you will," he said, then smiled a bit easier. "At least that means I'll see more of you." He paused as he realized how that sounded. "I mean, see you more...here...with me. I don't mean I want to see more of you, I mean, I do, you're beautiful, but I didn't mean that like it sounded like I wanted to see more of you...." He paused as his override kicked in and his crushing embarrassment was cooled by Vulcan calm. "My apologies for the accidental ambiguity," he said, coolly.

"Ah'd like you to see more of me." Grace stated, unable to meet his eyes when she said it, "And Ah mean it like that. Ah wanna be a normal girl, Ah wanna go out with someone, let them touch me, touch them, just... You know, be someone who ain't gonna fly off the handle at the drop of a hat or someone putting a finger wrong on me. It's just, when that happens, Ah can't help myself, because... Because... Ah'm just fucked up and Ah don't wanna be."

Zed raised an eyebrow. "It is an accepted axiom that healing is not linear," he said. "There will be missteps, setbacks, and barriers to overcome. Today was like that, and it is important to acknowledge the positives of the situation."

Grace sniffled, wiping her nose on the shoulder of her pajamas, but she hadn’t broken down into sobs, or started gabbling in French. Those were positives, she knew, one way she could tell things were improving, but aside from that, “What do you mean, positives? Ah can’t even wake up to bein’ touched.”

"There are several," Zed said. "You did not injure me in any significant way. You did not run out of my quarters, but instead stopped and gathered yourself. You controlled and faced your fear, and we're now talking it through. That is significant. The more we do so, the easier it will be to manage missteps in the future. So, there are three examples of positive things we may focus on. And those are just the positives for you."

“Ah tried to run.” Grace argued, “Ah didn’t stop because Ah was facin’ my fear, Ah stopped because you stopped me, even though it may have only been briefly. You… grabbed me.” A visible shudder ran down her body, “But you didn’t chase me after, didn’t throw me against the wall, didn’t…” She shook her head and changed the subject her voice going quiet, “The way Ah woke up was what made me try that escape. It was… Possessive, you had your hand up… my shirt.., grabbin’ my…” Her face flushed red.

Zed was not able to blush heavily in his current state, but he looked down at the floor as he said, "I very much enjoyed holding you like that," he said. "I will not lie about that. However, it is not essential for us to interact. I am content holding you however you wish." He looked back up at her. "If you wish merely a hug, I am always willing. I will do what you need to feel safe, comforted and wanted."

She finally was listening and her blood chilled as she heard the tone of voice he was using. At first she thought it had been calm and even to calm her down, but now it remained that way, had been that way since he’d claimed embarrassment. It waved a warning flag in her mind, almost like that time when Gerard had been trying to talk her out of that butter knife, “Zed?” She asked, drawing her knees in closer, “Why are you… So calm about this? Ah’m anythin’ but, and Ah’m the one that hit you, and then… This ain’t natural.”

He looked down. “I am anything but calm,” he said. “This is…it is complicated to explain. I have attempted to talk to you about it before.” He swallowed. “When I had just turned thirteen, there was an…incident. A misunderstanding occurred between myself and a local Vulcan girl. I had attempted to ask her on a date, and did not understand that her refusal was due to her being betrothed, not due to her being merely busy that night. Both her brother and intended did not appreciate the cocky, young human boy attempting to flirt with her, and they decided to play a ‘prank’ on me. Unfortunately, it took a bad turn. I was left stranded, naked on Vulcan’s Forge. I tried finding my way back, but I was not able to get out of danger before the sun came up. I made my way to a cave, crawled inside and waited for death. I thought it came, but at the last moment as I was about to be lost forever, I was pulled back from the edge of the abyss.”

He paused and took a breath to steady himself. He hated thinking about it. He always felt there had been more, a nightmare, but he avoided dwelling on it. “While I was in a coma, an exceptionally old, exceptionally skilled Vulcan healer performed a mind-meld with me to pull my katra, my soul if you will, back from the edge of oblivion. He said there would be side effects and failsafes from the procedure.”

He let out another sigh. “When I finally regained consciousness, I was acting completely Vulcan. One would have thought I was born and raised there. Over time, my human personality began to emerge. It caused….complications. I was damaged; beyond repair, I feared. It’s why I ran away…” he paused, realizing he would be going off on a related, but not relevant, tangent. “Over time, the effect has resolved into a kind of…governor. An override, to use a less technical term. When my emotions exceed a certain level of intensity, the override comes into place to protect me. It is….not always convenient; however, I am alive because of it, so I suppose I cannot complain.”

He finally looked up at her. “I am aware I sound different. I am aware I seem to lack the emotions I wish to express, but rest assured, my emotions are still there. The situation we’ve found ourselves in was intense, and I became emotional over it and…” He made a helpless gesture. “If you’ll permit me a moment?”

"Of course." Grace said, relaxing slightly, her feet sliding out a couple of inches where they'd gathered more under her before.

He closed his eyes and breathed steadily, mentally reciting some Vulcan meditation lines that usually helped to steady him. After a minute, he felt his posture relax, and his emotions began to ebb and flow again. He looked at Grace with softer eyes and gave her a small smile. “I’m sorry if I scared you,” he said, his voice warm again. “I’m just…like I said…damaged goods.”

"Ah'm not sure it actually scared me, but it did make me a bit nervous." Grace glanced at him, then away again, "What a pair we make, though.. Both of us with things that make us unable to be in the company of others in a good, healthy relationship." She gave a broken smile.

"Yeah," he said with a mirthless chuckle. "I put on a good show, in more ways than one, but the last girl I fell in love with...the override made it extremely complicated." He took another deep breath, pushing the memories aside. "How are you feeling?" he said, steering things way from himself.

"Ah'm fah-" She cut herself off as she remembered his admonition of not lying to him, "-nally starting to relax a bit." Grace gamely continued on, "Ah don't think Ah'm gonna run away on you, just gotta figure out what we're gonna do... About us, Ah suppose."

"Tell me what you want," Zed said, simply. "If you want me to hold you, I will, and I'll do my best to be chaste about it. If you just want a hug, I will. If you want me to keep to the other side of the room when you're around, I'll do that too. You tell me what you need to feel calm and safe."

"Ah don't know." Grace said, hugging her knees tighter to herself once more, "Part of me wants to walk away, get into my fighter and get into a fight Ah can't win, another part wants to quit the Fleet and just go home, another part wants to come over and fuck your brains out to prove Ah can. Ah don't think this can be what Ah 'want', because Ah just don't know."

The brief mental image Zed couldn't prevent and the fear of the other options almost caused him to slip back into Vulcan mode, but he got a grip on himself quickly. "Let's...find something in between those extremes, hm?" he said, his mouth suddenly dry and his temperature rising. "I need water," he said. "I'll be right back."

He stood up and left his room, replicating two glasses of water and bringing them back to his bed room. He sat down and drank one half empty, then held out the other to her. "Would you like some?"

Grace nodded, but had to got on her knees to reach out far enough to take the glass, hesitated, then did something bold and changed where she was sitting to putting her back up against the bed as she sipped some of the water, "Ah'm just so confused right now, Ah'm sorry, Zed, Ah really wish that...." She exhaled again, "Ah wish Ah was normal."

Zed's chuckle had a bit more humor to it this time. "You are preaching to the converted on that one," he said. "I have the same wish." He shrugged and sipped his drink a bit more slowly. "But, if we can't be that, we can be the next best thing."

"And what's that?" She had to ask, genuinely curious.

He looked over at her and gently offered her his hand, leaving it on the floor for her to take if she wanted. "We can be there for each other."

Grace eyed the hand as if it were a snake, wondering if it would reach out to bite her, or grab her as the case may be, then gingerly reached out to place her own hand in it in an act of faith. "Ah think we can do that."

A post by:


Zachary Addams
Chief Engineer
USS Tokyo

and

Grace MacKenzie
Fighter Pilot
USS Tokyo

 

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