Blood On My Hands

Posted on Fri Oct 3rd, 2025 @ 1:41am by Captain Taiga Aisaka & Lieutenant Commander Ryuuji Takasu

1,288 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: Preserving The Past
Location: Ready Room

The doors of the ready room swished shut behind her. Taiga stood for a brief moment, avoiding looking out of the window. Suddenly she found herself crouched on the floor, hands over her face as tears poured from her eyes. They stung as they ran down her cheeks, streaming constantly like waterfalls.

It had all been too much for her. The loss of life on Amerind was nothing short of a disaster. Eventually she wiped her tears with her sleeve and slowly rose back up, not easy considering she was now well into her third trimester.

She made her way over to her desk. Her computer console was showing just a blank black screen. After sitting herself down in her chair, she reached out and tapped on the controls. She brought up the reports that were already starting to flood in.

The Tokyo crew had already begun repairs to the ship. Although it seemed like they wouldn't have warp drive for at least another few hours. They had also sustained damage to their nacelles as well as various other systems. Taiga let out a sigh. "Damn. I just want to get out of here..."

She tapped her comm badge, and said a single word. "Ryuuji..."

[Five Minutes Later]

Ryuuji rushed through the doors of the ready room, but not the door from the bridge, but the deck one access door. Taiga was sat slouched forward over her desk, her head resting on her arms. Tears had once come to the surface.

"Taiga..."

"We failed in protecting them." Taiga sobbed. "Why couldn't we protect them!"

Ryuuji paused for a moment. Slowly he made his way over towards her. He crouched down in front of her desk. With one finger he lifted Taiga's head up by her chin so she was no longer staring at its surface.

"Hey..." his voice was soft and smooth as usual. He had a sympathic expression as he looked into her hazel eyes. "You did what you could. We're only one ship Taiga."

Taiga sniffled. "We could have done a lot more! We just witnessed an entire race being wiped out of existance. We also lost the Kanna, everyone aboard that ship was meant to be protected by us!"

Slowly Ryuuji nodded. "You know as well as I do, that the crew of the Kanna knew the risks when they put on the uniform."

Taiga sobbed as more tears emerged from her eyes. Ryuuji pulled his sleeve forward and wiped her eyes gently. "This is not like you."

"No, its not." Taiga sniffled. "But I'm not exactly in the best emotional state right now. Plus..." she pointed down towards her belly. "I have much more on my plate. You can't understand!"

"No. I can't understand." Ryuuji replied softly. "But I do understand one thing..."

Taiga looked up, her eyes meting his. "Whats that?"

"I understand that you're a very strong woman Taiga. You're running this ship, but you're also having our child. You're not just a Captain, but you're the leader of a community." Ryuuji explained. "And I understand that I couldn't be a more lucky man, because I get to stand by your side. I know that you'll stand by mine too. I understand that I love you more than anything in this whole universe."

Taiga scowled through her tears slightly. "You're too cheesy sometimes..."

"Thats my girl." Ryuuji smirked. "Back to yourself I see."

"How can I sit here and cry after you say something... Like that!" She whined her cheeks starting to blush. "But, what do I do now. Their blood is on my hands."

"No. Their blood is on the hands of the Iconians... You did your duty as a Starfleet Officer. We did our best, but we were outnumbered and outgunned. They knew what they were going to do regardless of us being here." Ryuuji told her in his soft and calm voice. "You need to accept that their deaths wasn't for nothing."

"How?" Taiga asked.

"Well, we have all that data that The Preserver gave us. I know Commander Nishikiji and Lieutenant Nezuko will work around the clock to get something out of it."

"Great... They died for some data that we can't even use right away. If we can use it at all. What a thing to die for..." Taiga moped. "But their entire planet is gone, and their way of living. Everything they built, their entire culture gone. Just like that..."

"Aren'y you forgetting someone?" Ryuuji asked. "I do believe that the young girl from the Amerind village is still aboard. I know its only one life, but the culture lives inside her now. We saved at least someone..."

Taiga's eyes opened wide. She had forgotton about Tahuna. She pushed herself up and sat upright. "I forgot about her. But still, she's only a child."

"A child who according to the medical staff is very intelligent and knowledgeable about her own culture. However, she is alive. Thats the most important thing..." Ryuuji told her a small smile on his face.

Taiga slowly nodded. "I guess."

"Good girl." Ryuuji smiled. "Now, this crew needs its captain more now than ever. They're going through the same thing as you. But they can't hide away in ready rooms. I know its hard Taiga, but right now you need to be strong." he paused. "I know you are stronger than this. You need to show them that we can bounce back from this. We can be better."

She blinked a few times. "Are you essentially telling me to get on with my job right now?"

"Yep." Ryuuji said. "Because if anyone on this ship can talk to you like this, and get away with it; its me. Your husband and father to the child that is still growing in your belly. So, stop moping around like a spoilt child who's just been told off and get on with what I know you're good at Taiga!"

Taiga sat there staring at him. He gaze was locked with hers, his eyes showing nothing but seriousness and sincereness. His words were like a slap across her face, but then she eventually began to smile. She wiped her face with the end of her sleeve and looked up at him. "Thanks Ryuuji, I needed that."

"Damn right you did." Ryuuji said as he crossed his arms a smug look on his face. "You're forgetting Taiga, that I know you far too well. Now, get yourself sorted out and then get back out there and tell your people what to do. We need Captain Taiga Aisaka back. I need her back, to the woman I fell in love with and married. The strong leader who is knows what she wants and stops at nothing to get it!"

She nodded. "Got it. Can I at least get a few moments. I should freshen up before I go out there..."

"You have five minutes." Ryuuji said. "I'll be on the bridge when you decide to come out. Don't make me come in here and get you."

"Fine fine!" Taiga snapped back.

"Good. And remember... I love you Taiga."

"I love you too Ryuuji."

With that said, Ryuuji turned away from his wife, and walked out onto the bridge through the ready room doors. Taiga sat there for a few brief moments, thoughts running through her head. He was right, she needed to be there for her crew now, she needed to get her act together and start acting like the Starfleet Captain she was. Sometimes a verbal slap from Ryuuji to open her eyes was needed, apparently; this was one of those times.

Posting by:

Captain Taiga Aisaka
Commanding Officer

Lieutenant Commander Ryuuji Takasu
Chief Straiegic Operations Officer

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